At the age of 30, I’m still single and I don’t know why my personal life concerned so many people (this is not their business at all) but thank you for your concerned anyway I’m FINE.
I think some people just scare to be alone…so do I.
As a youngest child of two, I always attach to my mom and sometimes I can’t imagine my life without her. My mom always worried about me (my health, life & safety); She doesn’t want me to travel alone, be alone & come home late which I’m blessed to have this kind of love but from time to time, I just want to be alone.
Even part of me want to be alone, I still want someone to share a great thing in my life with like my mom has my dad. I grow up in a warm happy family which always going on a trip together. I still hope that one day I will found the one that I’m looking for but if not…It’s OK.
When I was among of people, I can still practice the part of being alone.
Being alone is not the same as loneliness. Being alone is like you took a spiritual path of quietness and see through the present almost like you can stop time. Loneliness is when you are feeling empty, scare but in the contrary being alone is when you are whole, happy, independent and confident.
When I was at the cafeteria, I always choose to sit next to the window to look outside at people who walk pass by & the nature (trees, flowers). I enjoy it this way. I put my music on and suddenly the world become quiet. I look around saw people talking to their friends, some are so concentrate with their meal but I choose to enjoy the view outside instead.
I’m not crazy but if you can put yourself into your inner mind, you’ll find peace & solitude. Sometimes it seems like the nature talk back to me and want to tell me their stories while I’m in that quite state.
ในขณะที่หลายคนก้มหน้ากินอาหาร คุยกับเพื่อนร่วมโต๊ะ ฉันกลับมีความสุขมากกว่าที่จะนั่งมองออกนอกหน้าต่าง และคุยกับต้นไม้ใบหญ้าด้านนอกนั้น มันมีเรื่องราวมากมายมาเล่าให้เราฟัง
If you have to choose to be something between beautiful flower & weed…What do you choose?
For me… I choose to be a weed…Why?
Have you ever notice an outdoor place like in the garden that pour some concrete or cement to make a pathway? Even it looks so smooth but one day it’ll crack and the weed grows from there. A lot of people don’t like weed because they think it’s unattractive, not beautiful & useless but I think it’s the most strongest plant in the world. Weed is strong and brave. In the meantime that all the beautiful plant are die because of the cement, the weed, which grew up out of the blue, never need an acceptance from anyone to grow or any opinion to live. One thing that the weed knows is “What is the best for it to live and grow strong”.
Let go of FEAR and you will live the life you deserve~ try to be alone & you will understand the word “whole & solitude” more.